I have days where I feel like a really awful person – I feel like I have this nasty streak that I just can’t seem to shake no matter how much I attempt to better myself, and I struggle with the way I behave sometimes.
But then other days, more confident days, I can justify it to myself easily – I can say that yes, occasionally I do things that may be deemed out of order, however, people drive me to it. When it comes down to it, they are their own worst enemies. I have nothing to do with it, my actions are insignificant, and do not matter. I cannot affect anyone unless they let me.
‘They cause their own pain.’
I will admit, my moral code isn’t entirely in line with what most people think is an acceptable way to behave. But I believe in it, and I live my life by it, and 95% of the time I get on just fine, as do those around me. Whose business is it but mine, what I need to do to move through the world and to navigate my personal relationships?
There have been times when I have been wrong, and I have admitted to it, and I have made it know that my feelings changed about what I did, and I have moved on. And if justified, I will always admit that. But I have no reason to dislike myself, or to be sorry.
So I won’t apologize, not for this.